Saturday, May 15, 2010

Batman Vs. Darth Vader, and my thoughts on that.

[EDIT january 21, 2012:  For the longest time I had no idea who the artist responsible for this painting was.  I have just recently discovered that his name is Dave Dorman.  I believe in giving credit to the artists of any respective work, so if you like this picture you should check out his site.]

Holy. Shit. Look at this picture. Are you done? No you're not. REALLY look at it. Click on that shit. Enlarge it, and behold it in all of its beauty and wonder. If you have spent even 30 full seconds gazing into this masterpiece then you will find yourself squarely in one of two camps with regards to the way you perceive it.

1. You see this painting for what it truly is. A glorious achievement in modern art, portraying two of the most influential characters in popular fiction. This piece displays our never ending violent rage against our fellow man, while simultaneously highlighting the very personal internal battle between good and evil that we all must face everyday of our lives.

2. You see it as drawing for nerds by nerds. Not really your cup of tea. And you are a terrible person!

Seriously, this picture essentially expresses how I look at the world as adeptly as any still image could. It captures the eye, sparks the imagination, answers questions, and even asks a few. I have watched numerous films, read countless comic books, and very few have thrilled me as much as this image.

Alright settle down. Settle down. I know you're excited but before you get too carried away, I would first like to draw your attention to hoW FREAKING AWESOME IT IS!!! I mean really, be honest now. What could possibly be more baddass than Darth Vader and the Batman locked in battle? In my opinion, it is entirely irrelevant whether or not you are a Star Wars or Batman fan. The image is striking and bold, and one can't help wonder how it ends. Right off the bat (no pun intended) you have Darth Vader literally standing ON fire, chest thrust out defiantly, Light saber in one hand, with the other reaching out ominously in what we can only assume to be a threatening gesture. Out of nowhere swings Batman holding on desperately to his life line, suspended over a certain fiery doom, and wielding... (wait for it)... a bat light saber! That's right the handle even has a bat motif! Do you understand what this means? Batman constructed his own fucking light saber! His Jedi skills are complete! HOLY SHIT!

As I stated earlier this picture both answers and asks questions. Now you may have thought I was just exaggerating, but in fact I was being utterly serious. Though I will concede that I have been known to embroider statements and facts in the past, so as to illicit a stronger response from my target audience, I feel now that with two of my favorite franchises involved, this is an inappropriate time for bullshit. What then, are the startling aforementioned insights and queries this single image offers? Allow me to enlighten you.

First, it answers the question; how awesome would a fight between Batman and Darth Vader be? Clearly it would be very cool. This revelation may seem trivial at best, but it is not so. You see, there's no Denying that Vader is one tough cookie. This is the same man that took Han Solo's gunfire in stride by simply sticking out his hand and CATCHING THE LAZER BLASTS! He can choke someone to death by making a simple gesture with his hand, and he doesn't even need to be in the SAME SHIP, never mind the same room! So in the past when I've considered a fight between him and Batman (yes I have put some thought into it, how do you think I found this picture in the first place?) I always felt that, utility belt or not, Darth really had an unfair advantage when you got right down to it. I honestly have no desire to see Batman forced grabbed and suspended in mid air, grasping at his neck in a futile attempt to breath, as Darth Vader calmly approaches and skewers him with his light saber. That would be both uninteresting and traumatizing. Obviously Vader still has the upper hand in this scenario (as the illustration clearly shows Darth Vader unfazed by FIRE!), but it has to be that way to an extent, because a fight where the hero is clearly stronger is just no fun. That would be like a fight between the Hulk and Gollum, which would just be stupid (geez). The point I'm trying to make here, is that despite heavy odds, Batman seems to be holding his own well enough to stop Vader from cutting his bat rope.

This of course leads to the questions. The image seems to take place on Mustafar which means somehow Batman has found his way into a galaxy far far away, and incidentally, the past. We'll just blame it on a spacial anomaly. Whatever. It is what it is. The question is, how the hell is Batman pulling this off? Are we meant to believe that in the Star Wars universe Batman has the force? Does he just have it naturally already as some latent ability he had no knowledge of beforehand? Or is his mental concentration and discipline so immaculate, that the force itself simply doesn't have an effect on him directly? I feel I should point out, however , that It doesn't really matter which one is the correct answer because no matter what, it only serves to make Batman THAT much cooler than he already is.

One more thing to note, is how appropriate it is for these two to be fighting. Many people have debated the results of a conflict between Darth Vader and Superman, arguing that being extreme opposites of each other somehow makes it more interesting. I disagree. Superman is good because he was brought up that way, his upbringing was relatively positive. Superman's battle with his dark side isn't nonexistent, but it's notably less prominent than Batman's. Both Darth Vader and Batman are constantly struggling between their good and bad (or light and dark) persona's, but whereas Vader gave into the dark side Batman chose to channel the same rage and anger that Vader feels into something good. It's symmetry I tell you!

At the end of the day this picture serves to highlight some of the greatest parts of my childhood. I just wish that instead of those crappy prequels or either of the Schumacher films, they had made this instead. Ah well, one can dream.

Anyhoo that's about all I have to say on that. Maybe next time I'll write about something that normal people can also appreciate.

Thanks for reading.



  1. Batman, has no super powers, no real proper reason to be in Mustafar or reason to be fighting Vader. Batman was probably taken by surprise.

    Despite these numerous disadvantages Batman would win.

    I don't know how, I don't know why. It's not my job to write why or to know why.

    Batman just always wins. Always.Somehow, someway, even when he dies, he wins, somehow.

    You don't have to know why, you just have to know that Batman always wins.

    I look forward to further discussion Mr. Fenske be well.

  2. But this is what I'm saying. Even stacked with these insurmountable odds, he will prevail.

    Either because he is secretly strong with the force, or because he's just that hardcore. Either way he's just raised himself another notch on the 'cool-ladder'.

    Bravo Batman. Bravo.

    Darth Vader. You're doing just fine. You keep doing what you do.

  3. i am still in awe of how the hell did batman survive the atmosphere made up of methane, carbon dioxide and nitrogen with little to no trace of oxygen!?! Did he genetically engineered a super lung and change the biochemistry of his entire cells so that they can utilize such compounds normally toxic to humans, so that they can carry all their normal functions? I am intrigued to find out whether such a sweet hypothesis is even remotely possible! But I do agree with the both of you that Batman would beat the shit out of Darth Vader :D!